It has been couple of weeks I completed my DRP or Defense Research Proposal. Alhamdulillah I managed to submit my proposal which I have been slaving to do since I started my PHD.
Yes.. it is a bumpy ride.
With Alif as a special kid and another 2 kids seeking for attention, it was not easy. I have to divide and manage my time very well.
Sometimes I envy my friends who are single and have the time only for themselves. I also envy some of them who are cool as ice without having to think about schools, therapies, what to cook for dinner, what time should I fetch my kids from school today, etc.
Even though I have planned everything. Sometimes it just don't go as how you planned.
I got a great supervisor.
I even got myself a co-supervisor from the States.
I read the papers I cite.
I slaved myself until sometimes I felt like endless nights to prepare the proposal.
I even study how to create great presentations using prezi.
Today I found out that despite all my efforts... I failed.
Although I really understand what to do and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.... I failed.
And I hated that feeling.
Not because of failing.
But because I have put all effort to just to FAIL!
Do I feel better if I didn't put all efforts?? I don't know.
Do I feel better if I was not prepared and failed?? I also don't know
I know..... I sounded like a LOSER.
Coz I have seen worse presentations and they still made it.
Ok.. just suck it and deliver.
If only it is as easy as that....
Maybe Allah has better plans for me.
He does work.in mysterious ways. That I know.....
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